I am so happy to have my period.
It is painful, and exhausting and as much as I wanted to workout today the Midol is not taking the edge off enough for me to hope to make it to boot camp so it is a wrap on that. I will be staying home with heat on my stomach and hydrating my life away.
And making plans for this next cycle. The next race is upon me and my energy is back mentally. The rollercoaster is all set up again for the ups and downs to come.
I called my reproductive endocrinologist nurse’s desk today and I have to get scheduled for an Ultrasound on Monday to make sure my follicles retreated since I had some really big ones (though of course the big ones didn’t yield me the baby I want). before I can start my Letrozole again at 7.5 MG. Because of this I will be starting it later than Cycle Day 3 so this may mess up my timing on predicting my ovulation. I am not sure. I just hope it isn’t a cyst on my ovaries which is a possibility the nurse wanted to check for. I don’t need any extra hurtles on this journey.
On the supplement forefront I have added iron in to my list of supplements to try to help me get pregnant. I also ordered some Evening Prim Rose Oil to take the first half of the cycle up to ovulation to help with my cervical mucus since I did not notice much last cycle. I will also take Mucinex the week we are trying as well. One of my theories is perhaps my cervical mucus is a little hostile to my husband’s sperm and that is causing some issues. I am hoping by creating a more lubricated environment it will help the sperm get to where they need to get. I also added Flax Seed Oil because I just can’t stand the gummy fish oil. They are very gross and I have not taken them for a long while. So my current supplement list and medication list this cycle will be (bold were my RE’s additions. Not bold were my own):
Letrozole 7.5 MG (3 tablets a day for 5 days)
Evening Prim Rose Oil ( week before and of ovulation ONLY)
Folic Acid 1Mg
Mucinex (fertile week only)
Sugar Bear Hair Vitamins (First Two Weeks Only)
One A Day Prenatal (Last Two Weeks)
PreMama Drink Mix (Last Week of Two Week Wait until test or period)
I have also encouraged my husband to drink more water so that we can make sure his semen also can further support the sperm motility. He had a great semen analysis and I have had 2-4 dominant follicles every time I go to get the ultra sound down on Letrozole so we have the ingredients certainly but we seem to not be able to get the sperm where it needs to go. My uterine lining is always good and thick and last cycle my progesterone is good. Of course even in optimal conditions there is only a 25% chance but the best thing we can do is try to have 4 or 5 months where we are getting the whole 25 percent. Ovulation was our initial hurtle and now I think if we can keep everything else right (good cervical mucus, good semen, timed intercourse and decent diet) we can at least optimize our chances.
I am considering going to IUI route once I get back to work and can borrow a little change from my 401K if we don’t get pregnant in the next cycle. I am willing to wait another cycle if necessary but I really am hopeful we can make this happen before I return to work and both or our schedules become busy again.
Another thing I am going to incorporate this go round is the meditation feature on the Glow App for Premium users. I paid for the premium membership on the app because they had a sale for New Years and I do use it primarily.
And I am committed to attending yoga on Thursdays. I was supposed to go yesterday but went to a social gathering that ran long so I missed it. And the food was nasty at the gathering however I think for my mental health talking to others I had not seen in forever was extremely good for me.
The main goal of this cycle for me is I want to come back and read this post when I am in the two week wait and center myself some more.
It is important for me to remember that I am not a failure. This is a process. It is not the race I envision. Baby Mayr is not always at the end of the finish line. Sometimes the race has no winner and I will never know which race is the one that does. I just have to keep running. It is ok to want to be a mother. It is ok to spend the time and money and effort and energy on this journey and even if I do not get pregnant, I can know I did my best and just keep trying to focus on getting there.
I am healthy. I just need some help getting pregnant. And it may take time. My husband and I deserve this though and eventually we will be rewarded. In the mean time I am going to continue to work on my mood, my finances and getting my home the way I want it so that when the time comes I can welcome my pregnancy and eventually my baby in the most peaceful environment possible.
I am worthy.
I will be a mother.